When I started “TeenieGenie Style” a year ago, I really had no idea what I was doing.   I had wanted to start a blog for years, I but didn’t believe I could do it.  I was going through a difficult period in my life.  Summertime trips and activities were winding down.  A lot of my friends were settling into serious relationships which meant less girls nights out.  Dating felt like Groundhogs Day – an emotional rollercoaster of swiping, meeting, excitement, anticipation, ghosting, hope….and disappointment.  Outside of working out, I didn’t really have any serious hobbies.  I felt alone and lost. 

I started feeling sorry for myself which, in my opinion, is the WORST thing you can do in these situations.  I knew I needed to take action and make a serious change in my life. 

I recognized I needed to shift my prospective, and not devote my energy and well-being to outside factors out of my control.  I was LETTING (key word there) my friend’s relationships, careers, and hobbies control MY happiness.

I knew I needed something of my own – something that I could control.  Something I could use to create my OWN happiness, independent of the world around me. 

Thinking back on it all now, it’s actually kind of strange how it all happened, but it makes sense.  I HAD no plan.  Honestly, I was just sitting at work one day, and decided that I was just going to give the whole blog thing a try. It was one of the few times in my life I didn’t overthink things and set any expectations! I just told myself I would put together some outfits and ask my mom if she could take the pictures for me the following week, which she agreed to (I couldn’t have EVER done this without her.) In the meantime, I scouted locations I wanted to shoot and did some research on basic photography skills like camera angles and lighting techniques.   

I had NO idea how this was all going to go, but I didn’t think about that.  I was just taking one step at a time.  What was the worst that could happen?  My mom and I could get frustrated and/or the pictures could turn out horrible?  I’ve wasted more hours of my life on far worse things. 

The day came, and I made sure I was prepared. I had all my outfits organized in little bags and a general idea of where I wanted to shoot each look.   And just like that, we were off shooting!  The first shots we took were too dark, so we decided to change angles and positions and shoot a new batch.  When I saw them, I was pleasantly surprised and satisfied with how they came out!  Numerous challenges that presented themselves throughout the day, but we were patient and didn’t give up as we began learning how to overcome each obstacle.  By the end of the day, I was exhausted, but I felt good! I had shot 8 different outfits and had a few shots from each look that I really liked!

The success of the photoshoot motivated me to move forward with the blog. The photos were a tangible result of something I had worked hard to produce. I felt accomplished and inspired, and for the first time ever – I truly believed in myself.  This was something I could do!  I spent the next two weeks setting up my website, writing, and learning more about how to get more exposure on Instagram.

I was so busy and focused on MY blog, I didn’t have time to dwell on my lack of social events or the latest loser to ghost me – and I stopped caring. I was totally enthralled with what I was doing.   When it was time to take everything public, I was at an all-time high and never really looked back. 

But like any journey, blogging hasn’t always been smooth sailing.  It’s definitely been a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows.  There are times I have asked myself, “why the hell am I doing this?” but I’ve just kept pressing forward, only to find my dedication and perseverance to be rewarded.  As I reflect back on the past year, I realized how much I have learned from blogging – and not just about fashion.  Blogging has helped me grow in ways I never imaged.   

Here are 10 Life Lessons I’ve Learned From Blogging:

1. Do it for The Right Reasons

The right reason is different for EVERYONE – but the reason you start blogging has to resonate on a person level.  I’d say the real reason I started blogging, without consciously knowing it, was to develop a better sense of self.  I know that sounds crazy because a blog is something external to share with the world- but it’s so personal!  As I continued to write and shoot content, I learned more about myself and began to fine-tune my style and aesthetic.  I began to shape my identity and uncover things about myself I didn’t even know!  This self-awareness and internal connection I tapped into is what ultimately drives my passion and why I continue on my journey.

If you are just doing blogging, or anything in life for that matter, for external reasons, like the free stuff or “fame”, chances are it won’t make you very happy and it won’t last.  

2. Be Yourself

I know this is cliché, but it’s so true!  The world is made up of billions of people who all have different values, tastes, interests, etc.   The bottom line is, no matter who you are, you will resonate with some people and not others.  Don’t worry about those who you don’t resonate with, you never will and that’s okay! 

When my first collaboration offers started rolling in, I had never been more excited.  I felt like it was finally all happening! I was so eager to build my resume and come across as a “real blogger” that I said yes to every offer.  When I received one of the products for a collab early on, I was horrified.  The quality was awful and not at all as described to me.   I didn’t know what to do.   Part of me wanted to continue with the collaboration because I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers or be labeled as someone that is difficult to work with, but I just couldn’t image what would happen if I promoted the item and people actually spent their hard earned money to buy it.  Luckily, I was able to terminate the collaboration amicably and return the product.  From then on out, I decided I would never collaborate with a brand or product without doing some serious due diligence and always requesting to try the product first. 

The moment you compromise your style or values because you think everyone else is doing it, it’s trendy, or will get you more followers, is when you become inauthentic.  People can spot inauthenticity a mile away and is why bloggers get a bad rep.   Compromising YOU will only damage your sense of self – and drive away the followers who resonate with the real you.

3. Build a Community

One of the most rewarding aspects of blogging has been the friends I’ve made and the community I’ve developed.  I’ve connected and made friends with other bloggers from all over the country. I’ve even been fortunate enough to meet some of them in person during my travels.  The blogging community has been nothing but SUPER supportive.  Remember, these are like-minded people who have the same goals and interests as you!  They go through the same challenges as you do so it’s easy to form a connection.  Join engagement groups, reach out to others for guidance and support, and give it back!  The more you give, the more you really do receive.  I’ve also cultivated a really great group of followers that are so supportive.  At the end of the day, my goal is to bring value to them! I love it when I positive get feedback about my content. If just one person who reads this learned, related, laughed, smiled, or was inspired by this post – I will have succeeded. 

4. Don’t Judge or Compare Yourself to Others

“She has more followers than I do because she doesn’t have a job and she has a rich husband that buys her clothes and takes all her pictures.”  Good for her!  Whatever her situation is none of your business and has ZERO impact on YOUR success.   

Judging or comparing yourself to others in blogging and life will only amplify your insecurities and give you the green light to create excuses for yourself.  You need to go into this confident you can succeed for who you are, and in your situation.  Success is ultimately achieved through dedication, passion, perseverance, and talent – not circumstance.    

5. Don’t Take On Too Much

Know your limits and how much you can handle.   Don’t over commit yourself.  I made this mistake recently when I was planning my content for a vacation to St. Lucia.  I wanted to take advantage of the gorgeous tropical backdrop and capture as much content as possible, so I committed myself to more collaborations than I usually take on.   I had been working on the blog any my job at that point nonstop for 8 months without any mental break.   I was looking forward to a much needed relaxing vacation, but spent a chunk of the time stressing out about getting my collab shots and trying to connect to the horrible wiFi.  I spent the evening of my birthday frustrated at myself because I had fallen asleep at the beach and missed my opportunity to take sunset shots.  When I came home, I realized how silly I had been.  I got stressed out because I took a nap on the beach….on my vacation!   At the end of the day, you can’t let your passion consume you.   It’s important to take time out for yourself to recharge and rest.  You are most creative when you are well-rested, which is essential to blogging! 

6. Free Yourself from Expectations

This is a tough one, and something I continue to struggle with. We develop expectations by looking into the future; by “envisioning” how something is going to happen or how somebody is going to act.  That daydream where you envision what your wedding, future job, or perfect job will look like?  Or how your boyfriend will propose, or what your friends will surprise you with on your birthday?  Those are expectations. 

When our vision does not come to fruition, it can lead to disappointment. 

As I mentioned before, I truly believe the reason I succeeded with my first photoshoot is because I didn’t have any expectations.  But this didn’t mean I didn’t plan or have a goal!  It’s important not to confuse expectations with goals and planning.  My GOAL was to get a few outfit photos of myself that I could create content with. I PLANNED by organizing my outfits, and doing research on camera angles and optimal lighting.  Expectations would have been how I expected those photos to turn out or they performed.  If I had envisioned myself looking like Olivia Culpo in St. Tropez or getting 2,000 likes on Instagram I would have been VERY disappointed!

I was able to eliminate my expectations because I stayed focused on the present.  I stayed focused on each step of the planning rather than looking to the finish line. 

We’re only human, so eliminating all expectations from your life is nearly impossible.  I let expectations set in when I went to Coachella earlier this year, and learned a good lesson. It’s just important to keep yourself in check when your mind starts to wandering into daydream or vision mode.  Expectations are unproductive so try to bring your mind back to your planning and goals.  What could you be doing in this very moment that will bring you one step closer to achieving your goal? 

7. You WILL Fail

Expectations aside, no matter how dedicated, determined and passionate you are, at some point you WILL fail to meet your goals and you will hit some serious roadblocks that will leave you frustrated and disheartened.  There are just certain things that are out of your control.   Google and Instagram Algorithm updates will hinder your growth, brands will pass on you.   Life will happen.   It’s okay!   My first 6 months of blogging were honestly pure bliss.  I was growing exponentially and aimed for a goal of getting 10K Instagram followers by the end of March. I was 85% there. 

Then out of no where Instagram updated their algorithm and a 3rd party application I was using got me shadowbanned.  My engagement and growth came to a complete standstill.  I was frustrated beyond belief, until I realized I wasn’t the only person being affected by update.  Instagram wasn’t singling me out. 

I realized I needed to come up with a new strategy.  I spent the next couple of weeks testing different growth and engagement techniques until I eventually came up with something new and started to see my growth increase again.   Roadblocks will happen to you, too.  You just have to continue to push forward and not let them get you down!

8. Haters Gonna Hate

One of the things that held me back from starting the blog in the first place was my concern for what other people were going to think of me.  Many people don’t realize it, but I am extremely shy!  I think sometimes it’s been mistaken for coldness or rudeness which took me a long time to recognize!   The blog has taken me out of my comfort zone, but given me a voice and the opportunity to be more open and confident.  Putting myself out there was something that was very difficult for me.  I always cared too much about other’s opinions of me and had let this hold me back in all aspects of my life.  I realized I needed to grow up.  Haters are always going to exist and find something to you to hate on you for. They are usually people that are unhappy and insecure with their own lives, so they project those insecurities onto others.  I was damned if I going to let them come between me and my passion!

Putting yourself out there is NOT easy.  Luckily, I received a lot of support. Surprisingly it came from a lot of people I never expected!  Many of them don’t relate to my content at all, God bless them, but support me unconditionally because they are secure and confident enough with themselves and their ambitions to recognize that I am working hard to achieve something for myself.  It made me realize that these are the kind of people I need to continue to surround myself with and the relationships I need to focus on. 

Unfortunately, not everyone will understand what you are doing and support you. People will unfollow you, and that’s okay!  Not everyone has to like or understand what you are doing. There were a handful of people who I thought would be more supportive and weren’t, but I never let it bother me because I am not doing this for them, I am doing this for myself.     

9. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

When you fail or expectations creep in and leave you disappointed, don’t let it get you down.  If forgo creating content because you’re exhausted, or you decided to go out instead – that’s okay!  Nobody is perfect.  Beating yourself up only invites negativity energy and thinking and you’d be surprised how fast that negativity can spiral out of control.  When you fail or make a mistake, ask yourself what you can take away from it? What’s something positive you can take away so it won’t happen next time?  Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on!    

10 . You Will Succeed

Just as you will fail, you WILL succeed.   Every new follower, post, like, and new collaboration is an accomplishment –treat it as one!  If you keep put in the time, effort and growing your skillset, you will succeed! Blogging, just like any other job or hobby, isn’t something that happens over night. Keep being true to yourself and everything else will eventually fall in place.

Exactly a year ago when I felt lost and hopeless, I started this as a way to find something of my own – that would keep me busy.  To hopefully turn an interest into a passion, and maybe one day a career.  To meet new people and form new friendships.   I found all of that  – but more importantly – I found myself.  When life throws me lemons, I no longer feel lost or hopeless. My friendships, relationships, and career don’t determine my happiness or self-worth. I am the only one that controls my life, my emotions, and my destiny.

I am so optimistic about the future. I can’t wait to see what another 365 days of my journey will bring. I hope to invite new friendships, relationships, and for the first time, love into my life. I am excited to work hard to bringing you content that inspires and delights. I want to continue to focus on opening up and putting myself out there more so you can get to know me better and so that I can continue to become a better me..

My deepest thank you and gratitude to my mom for being so supportive and helping me take photos! None of this would be possible without her. And to all of you who read this and support me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! xoxo