As we find ourselves on the “fringes” of 2018, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the holiday season and the year itself. While joyous, the holidays can be a difficult time. The mere thoughts of the upcoming year can bring upon feelings of impending anxiety and stress for anyone.
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The holidays can be a difficult time if you’re single. At 31, Christmas is a subtle reminder that another year has gone by and I don’t have kids, a husband, or even a boyfriend. I don’t have special someone to create new traditions with and share in special moments of the holiday season. Hell, not only do I not have a New Year’s kiss, I don’t even have anywhere to go on New Year’s Eve.
The holidays can be a difficult time if you’re in a committed relationship. Maybe it’s an unconscious reminder that you’re not progressing in the ways you would like with your significant other, or that you’re drifting apart. Maybe one of you is ready to move in together, and the other is not. Maybe you’re ready to buy a house, but you can’t afford the one you want. Maybe one of you is ready for marriage or kids and the other isn’t. Maybe your trying to have kids and not having any luck. Or maybe you aren’t ready to have kids, and you find yourself pregnant.
The holidays can be a difficult time if you are happily married with children. Maybe the holiday season is a subtle reminder that you are completely exhausted and overwhelmed trying to please everyone. Maybe you feel guilty about spending more time with your in-laws than your parents. Maybe missed your kids holiday concert, or maybe forgot a toy on their list and feel like a bad mother.
As women, whatever is going on in our lives, or wherever we find ourselves, we feel pressure to be further and better. We compare ourselves, we judge, and look at others with envy.
I have so many friends happily married with kids tell me how lucky I am to have the flexibility to spend my days as I wish.
I tell them that they are right. I am lucky. I love my life, I can do a lot of things they can’t do and I don’t have the responsibilities they have. I can sleep in, I can find the time to start a blog, I can be spontaneous, I can travel the world on a whim.
But I also remind them how lucky they are to have found love. They wake up next to the person they love every single day. They have someone to take care of them when they are sick and don’t have to rely on Postmates to bring them medicine 😉 They have little creatures they created who look at them with adoring eyes. They love them unconditionally, even if they did forget one of their Christmas presents.
It doesn’t mean that one life is better, and it doesn’t mean that one person is more successful. We are all lucky. I did expect to have a husband or at least a serious boyfriend at 31, but I don’t and that’s okay. I can’t choose the journey, but I can choose how I perceive it.
I choose optimism. I choose to be happy with who I am, who I am becoming, and where I am going.
So while the holidays are a subtle reminder that I don’t have certain things, It’s also a huge wake up call to the abundance of opportunities and endless possibilities that await me.
As the year closes, appreciate your life, your path, and your journey. It may be a wild ride, but it’s unique to you and has helped shaped you into the strong, wonderful person that you are.
